Author | Integrative Counsellor
Life is a journey that will take us uphill and down dale and sometimes through some very big mud patches! My whole life, but more specifically the past 15-plus years, has been a study in trying to understand who I am really and how I was taken away from my authentic path.
My ‘conscious’ journey began with the passing of a very dear friend who was 35 at the time. It triggered something in me that needed to understand what life was really about. I could no longer accept that life just was – I felt there had to be some deeper meaning, and I went in search of it.
Initially, my quest for understanding was very exterior-focused, but gradually I had to bring it home to me where I sought to UNDERSTAND my own life and what possible meaning could be behind it.
First came the realization that I was codependent and this accounted for so many of the types of dysfunctional relationships I had experienced: not just with my then-husband, but also with a couple of bosses at work, and of course certain people within my own family. It was not until much later that I realized that as a codependent we attract these kinds of people to us and unfortunately the incidents and dynamics that go with associating with these types of people!
My experience as an integrative counselor confirmed to me that these lamentable connections were everywhere and many of the clients who came to see me were suffering and in the grips of the turmoil (and sometimes abuse) that comes with these relationships. Understanding the mechanics of these types of connections is paramount to being able to change them, or liberate yourself from them if that’s what you choose.
As I gained deeper discernment, I also realized that there were some very basic ground rules to having a healthy relationship. There are everyday ways of being that are essential to have in place to stop codependence and move on to better things, and most codependents are rubbish at them! As I applied these techniques, my world did indeed start to change – but I started to change too. I realized that connecting to myself, being kind, and valuing myself was essential to my well-being and that in building upon these new foundations I could start to construct a life that made me feel happy and fulfilled.
The more I am able to connect to myself,
the more I can now open up and help others do so also.
Finding out who we are is our reason for being and yet so many of us have lost sight of our real Self and are living lives that are stunted and perhaps deeply unhappy. However, it is easier to change this than you might think.
Life requires that we put in effort if we want it to give us what our heart asks for. Life is not meant to be a stroll in the park with no challenges because where would be the growth in that? My life with all its ups and downs is now offering me the opportunity to do so many things that make me feel that I’m accomplishing things by helping others. I would not have been able to do any of the work that I do if I had not had the really rough experiences that I lived through for many years.
But that’s that magic of life: when you understand that it’s not just chucking s**t at you for the fun of it, then you start to know that you can do something about it. Any life, especially yours, can change for the better.
I’d like to help you share some of that magic with me.
Amanda x
My whole life, but more specifically the past 15-plus years, has been a study (and active journey: uphill, down Dale – and through some big mud patches!) in trying to understand who I am really and how I was taken away from my authentic path.
The more I can connect to myself, the more I can now open up and help others do so also, first as a psychotherapist, but more recently through my writing.
Finding out who we are is our reason for being and yet so many of us have lost sight of our real Self and are living lives that are stunted and perhaps deeply unhappy. It is easier to change this than you might think.
My first two books address how so many of us are taken away from a life of fulfillment and happiness because of the relationships we have – particularly our romantic relationship. We can spend many years in the desert that these relationships create; constantly feeding and injecting energy into them to try and make them healthy and untroubled, while ignoring our Self in the process.
‘Love is not supposed to Hurt’: gives a factual, but accessible account of these types of relationships so that you can recognize yourself and your situation while being given TOOLS/STEPS to change the situation and start creating the kind of relationship(s) you do want. Its light-hearted but inspiring format makes it easily accessible to anyone who wants to gain understanding as effortlessly as possible.
‘5 Techniques for a 5 Star Life’: Is the companion book to Love Is Not Supposed to Hurt – once you’ve got the answers as to why your relationship is not kind and hassle-free (wouldn’t that just be Heaven) then you’ll be wanting the solutions! 5 Techniques gives you exactly that: all it takes to turn your relationships around are these five live-changing, totally common-sense skills. They are easy to integrate and are guaranteed to start changing your life the minute you begin putting them in place.
Many people in codependent relationships become totally drained by the relationship and very often deeply depressed. After all, pouring yourself into something for years, and getting nothing but trouble back is going to be very depressing.
Based on my own experience and working with clients, I have put together a program specially tailored to people in codependent relationships: giving you all the tools you need to leave depression behind and give you new hope (and better relationships) for the future.
The program comprises a step-by-step handbook that offers you support, a real understanding of what you are going through, and the keys to moving beyond this dismal state of being you find yourself in.
VISUALS OF THE BCD program
I have come to UNDERSTAND/conclude that our journey in this life is to find out Who we Are and re-become that person by peeling off the layers of negative messages and experiences. Understanding why we have to confront certain situations is the KEY to being able to accept them; and more importantly: move beyond them.
‘Faces’ has been written to inspire people to reconnect with themselves. In doing this you free yourself to live a life of fulfilment and personal satisfaction. This genuinely is the automatic result of finding out who you really are and living according to your original truth.
‘Faces’ blends psychology, self-help, and inspiration in a friendly, narrative style that will appeal to both ‘first-timers’ and those who are already on their journey to understanding themselves and the world that surrounds them.
I am currently completing final revisions of my latest book ‘Will-o’-the-Wisp’: Connecting to the Creative You – which focuses on finding whatever creative inspiration lights you up. Most of us have lost sight of the creative potential each of us has within us. Reconnecting with your creativity on a micro or macro scale (!) will make you thrive and feel inner peace in a way you would not previously have thought possible.
When reconnected, our life transforms and can begin to offer the satisfaction and serenity it always should have. Contentment is an inside job!
‘Will-o’-the-Wisp’ explores (amongst others) the themes of being in the flow, how to get into your ‘zone’, hearing your creative call, bursting through limitation, finding self-realization, etc.
And I have just started writing ‘Don’t Step on My Toes’ – I want to dance! No idea yet where that will lead, but it should be merry ☺
Tailored advice and strategies that focus on your unique needs and journey.
With over 15 years of experience in self-discovery, I bring real-world insights and practical solutions.
I help you gain the skills and mindset needed to create lasting positive change in your life.
Join Today
Copyright © 2025 AmandaButterworth.online
